ya.

i hate everyone, to get started.
i generally feel really empathetic, but i'm sick of it.
i love the people i love, but i still hate them.
hey.
you.
yeah, you.
i fucking hate you.
yeah, i am serious.
my life sucks a lot of the time. i'm getting high a lot, and that's helping me escape a bit.
but escaping is a bad thing to do.
i'm escaping to my past. been very nostalgic lately.
and i am currently trying to satisfy it until it's too late.
but it's hard, because i have learned just how shitty everything is.
it's hard to take the shit-colored glasses off when they have been on.
 i feel like some tragic thing has happened in my life recently, but nothing has.
i'm in a weird grieving state of emotion.
hard to figure out why.
i'm trying to let go of a lot of emotional baggage.
a lot of things have affected me, and keep affecting me, and i need to figure out how to get past them.
i'm trying to be free from everything.
true freedom is without pain, without agony and fear.
but i'm too attached to my emotions and the things around me to truly be free from myself, objects, and others.
i don't think enlightenment of such could ever happen in my life time.
I live in a little castle, my room is in a tall tower.
my room is covered in parts of myself. art, tickets, obsessions of the past.
i'm scared to come down.