tattoo

the wasp is a symbol of evolution, and control over our life circumstances, and the creator of the earth, and was a symbol of order, organization as well as productivity

fear

i'm graduating from high school in about a week.
i've been sober for about a month.
tomorrow marks my two month with my boyfriend.
my hair is getting long.
i'm growing up, and i'm fucking terrified.
i don't want to change, not that i'm perfect now, i'm just content with the way things are.
change scares me, even if it could potentially lead to something good.
i'm not going to have the same, dull day anymore.
it's going to be a completely different dull day.
plus, i'm going to have to join the working class soon.
i have a fucking bank account now.
yeah, not really a big deal, but it feels fucking weird.
not only that, my parents want to move in a few months.
i don't want to fucking leave, not where they're going. which then, applies a whole other pressure to make me join the working class - to get a place with my best friend.
i have $103 to my name, and no job. how the hell am i going to do this?
plus, i'll no longer be under the safety net of my parents.
and that's completely horrifying on it's own.
i guess this is what adulthood is about. is it always so scary and frantic?
things are happening much too fucking quickly, and i'm not ready.
i couldn't prepare myself, because i had no idea what i was preparing for.
it's like wearing arm floaties when jumping out of an airplane.